Answer to nobody

Shitbox in Kep

I live for myself and answer to nobody.

I've been ruminating over Steve McQueen's words as early retirement approaches the two year milestone. The mind pictures him racing across the Swiss Alps on a motorbike. Free. Living for himself and answering to no one. No wives, bosses or clocks demanding his precious time and energy. I've dedicated much thought to living the best possible life and here we'll examine a few ideas from various (mostly Schoppy) sources.

Aristotle divides the blessings of life into three classes: (1) What a man is: in terms of health, strength, beauty, temperament, moral character, intelligence, and education. (2) What a man has: that is, property and possessions of every kind. (3) How a man stands in the estimation of others: This is shown by their opinion of him; and their opinion is in its turn manifested by the honor in which he is held.

Reputation

Kep

These can be crudely distilled into (1) character, (2) wealth and (3) reputation. Whilst broadly agreeing I'd contend the relative importance of each element. For example, I'd argue that reputation is the least important - at least that's something I've never cared much about. I've had zero ambition to ascend hierarchies - eschewing promotions at work and shying away from responsibility in the social realm. Seemingly inauthentic endeavours. Moreover, I was never really a leader or, oddly, a follower - more outside the herd.

But why did it all feel fake and gay? I remember a 2003 Schopenhauer-induced epiphany. I was unemployed, browsing the philosophy section of Morpeth library when I encountered this passage. It blew me away. To see it in writing. I'm not alone? I'm not insane? Colleagues thought me foolish for not taking my "military career" seriously. The insignia just felt off. What was wrong? Well, nothing - I simply saw what Schoppy saw:

Le Grande Finale

When we see that almost everything men devote their lives to attain, sparing no effort and encountering a thousand toils and dangers in the process, has, in the end, no further object than to raise themselves in the estimation of others; when we see that not only offices, titles, decorations, but also wealth, nay, even knowledge and art, are striven for only to obtain, as the ultimate goal of all effort, greater respect from one's fellowmen, -is not this a lamentable proof of the extent to which human folly can go?

He goes on:

We should add very much to our happiness by a timely recognition of the simple truth that every man's chief and real existence is in his own skin, and not in other people's opinions. To set too high a value on other people's opinion is a common error everywhere; an error, it may be, rooted in human nature itself, or the result of civilization, and social arrangements generally; but, whatever its source, it exercises a very immoderate influence on all we do, and is very prejudicial to our happiness.

Mind

People often worry they'll get bored in retirement. Bored? Laughable. I don't know how I ever had time for jobs as the days are whiled away pondering life's biggest questions. I've come to see that we already have everything we need.

Since everything which exists or happens for a man exists only in his consciousness and happens for it alone, the most essential thing for a man is the constitution of this consciousness, which is in most cases far more important than the circumstances which go to form its contents.

Meditation is helpful in this regard. Find out who you are. You are something more than your circumstances, social conditioning and thoughts.

The ordinary life of every day, so far as it is not moved by passion, is tedious and insipid; and if it is so moved, it soon becomes painful.

Titanium Phil

Most work fits this description - at least most of mine did - work has to be a steady series of shit sandwiches otherwise you wouldn't be paid to eat them. I've come to think of work as the value you provide to your fellow man. More value to more people = more reward. This is why footballers are rewarded more than teachers - and rightly so.

Loy

Tangent. We could also think of work in the physics sense too. Work is energy transferred to an object via the application of force over a distance. Thus, you are transferring your biological energy (work) to economic energy (money). You can then purchase someone else's biological energy (in the form of goods and services). When ≥2 people participate you have what us posh bastards call an economy.

However, authorities compel you (via legal tender laws) to use their political currency as money. Why? So they can surreptitiously steal from you. They want you to work for something that they produce at no cost. If you refuse, men with guns will put you in a cage. It's genius. Who benefits from such an arrangement? Interesting.

Back to the mind. The happiness within is greater than that from our surroundings.

All the pride and pleasure of the world, mirrored in the dull consciousness of a fool, are poor indeed compared with the imagination of Cervantes writing Don Quixote in a miserable prison.

For what a man is in himself, what accompanies him when he is alone, what no one can give or take away, is obviously more essential to him than everything he has in the way of possessions, or even what he may be in the eyes of the world. An intellectual man in complete solitude has excellent entertainment in his own thoughts and fancies, while no amount of diversity or social pleasure, theatres, excursions and amusements, can ward off boredom from a dullard.

Best player in town - briefly

This becomes more obvious as one ages. An example is football. I used to have season tickets and travel to away games. Then watched it in bars. Then streamed it online. Then 10 minutes highlights on youtube. Then 2 minutes. Now I just look at the scores the next day. More entertainment watching Alan's chickens.

Hoes

And still men are a thousand times more intent on becoming rich than on acquiring culture, though it is quite certain that what a man is contributes much more to his happiness than what he has. So you may see many a man, as industrious as an ant, ceaselessly occupied from morning to night in the endeavor to increase his heap of gold. Beyond the narrow horizon of means to this end, he knows nothing; his mind is a blank, and consequently unsusceptible to any other influence. The highest pleasures, those of the intellect, are to him inaccessible, and he tries in vain to replace them by the fleeting pleasures of sense in which he indulges, lasting but a brief hour and at tremendous cost.

Bob - still pullin em at 71

The truth of that last bit made me laugh. Fleeting pleasures at tremendous cost? Takes me back to my alcoholic mongering days. There was never enough piss, pussy or nicotine to fill the void. And at what cost? Financial? - dread to think of the loy spaffed, biological? - more than a few painful STDs, emotional? - the highs and lows of intimate relations. And for what? Loveless 15 minute condom shags? He goes on:

The life of the mind is not only a protection against boredom; it also wards off the pernicious effects of boredom; it keeps us from bad company, from the many dangers, misfortunes, losses and extravagances which the man who places his happiness entirely in the objective world is sure to encounter.

Health

Posh Coffees

Health outweighs all other blessings so much that one may really say that a healthy beggar is happier than an ailing king. A quiet and cheerful temperament, happy in the enjoyment of a perfectly sound physique, an intellect clear, lively, penetrating and seeing things as they are, a moderate and gentle will, and therefore a good conscience—these are privileges which no rank or wealth can make up for or replace.

For, after all, the foundation of our whole nature, and, therefore, of our happiness, is our physique, and the most essential factor in happiness is health - and, next in importance after health, the ability to maintain ourselves in independence and freedom from care.

This is demonstrably true. I've been working out for 2 years and feel better at 50 than I did at 30. Clean living (5yrs off the piss and tabs) along with healthy food (fresh meat and veg) is all that's required. Health is wealth.

Wealth

Kampong Trach

For to start life with just as much as will make one independent, that is, allow one to live comfortably without having to work—even if one has only just enough for oneself, not to speak of a family—is an advantage which cannot be over-estimated; for it means exemption and immunity from that chronic disease of penury, which fastens on the life of man like a plague; it is emancipation from that forced labor which is the natural lot of every mortal. Only under a favorable fate like this can a man be said to be born free, to be, in the proper sense of the word, sui juris, master of his own time and powers, and able to say every morning, This day is my own.

But to be in possession of undisturbed leisure, is far from being the common lot; nay, it is something alien to human nature, for the ordinary man’s destiny is to spend life in procuring what is necessary for the subsistence of himself and his family.

Health is wealth but wealth is wealth too. I always dreamed of owning my own time. I never wanted vast riches - just enough to be free - a la Steve McQueen. Options are more limited for those of us born at the lower end of the socio-economic continuum but freedom is not impossible - I'm living proof. There are two very simple rules: 1. Spend less than you earn and 2. Invest the difference.

Simple does not mean easy. Success takes sacrifice. That might mean pursuing higher paid work, upskilling, educating oneself on Austrian economics and monetary systems, delaying gratification, tenaciously lowering expenses in order to increase savings, sacrificing fleeting pleasures for larger life goals, allocating capital intelligently and courageously. It might mean (in my case) recovering from a financial catastrophe and starting from zero at 41.

In summary, focusing on the mind, body and wealth should, with luck, lead to a free and contented life.

Farm

Chickens and $10 chair

Enough of that shit. What have you been up to? Well, not much really. Spent hours sat with Alan, a fellow northeast wokefugee, watching chickens and rabbits destroy his veg patch in the tropical sun.

He rents a small bungalow with a huge private garden on a small island formed by an oxbow bend in a stream. There's a small rickety bridge where each crossing feels more precarious than the last. It's gratifying to sit with a contented man who's found his version of paradise.

Visitors

Sean, 12th May

A nephew blew through as part of a larger trip through SEA. Sean was born in 1999 and I took him to a Safari Park around 2002, though he has no recollection of it. My favourite memory is him excitedly pointing to a mahussive rhino and shouting:

Luke a' the size o' that-ien

in a wonderful wee-man Fife accent. He's 6 foot odd now! Me and his Fatha were solid drinking mates in 1990s Dunfermline - good times. I was a little nervous about hanging out with youngins (whom I didn't really know) but they were great company. A sound lad with a solid heed on his shoulders.

Tale of Two Cities

Derby John, Villa Paddy, 21st May

The pendulum swung from youth to beauty as Paddy and John passed through. Vindaloos, massages and drinks were the order of the day as we caught up. It was a north/south divide as John enjoyed aircon cocktails by a pool set in lush tropical gardens, while Paddy slummed it in a shitbox fan room where the death-pats drink.

Are we in the pool?

Tony, 30th June

Tony rode down from Phnom Penh for a weekend. We put Shitbox through her paces by riding to Kampong Trach and Kep Beach. She didn't fare too well and was screaming as we limped back to Kampot. $60 for a new piston and timing chain.

Now up to $300 on Shitbox. The $200 purchase followed by $100 of maintenance. However, I don't mind these running costs as it's really pleasant ambling around town at 40-50km/h. Feels fast after 5 years on Mary Poppins. I sold the CBR500 in September 2019 - 5 years - where does the time go?

Turns out myself, Tony and Paddy moved to SEA in 2006, 2007 and 2008 respectively. We're all long termers as opposed to John who swans through as a 2WM (two week millionaire). We're all very different to the young green men we were back then.

Decade

Feb 2014

June 2024

Tried to recreate the same pose from memory. Not a bad effort.

In Feb 2014 I was in Cambodia getting an education visa for early retirement in Chiang Mai. Little did I know that just two months later I'd be destitute after losing £140,000. Totally skint and back in full-time simpage at 41.

However, happy to report that after 7 years of pure uncut unadulterated shit-piping, I somehow managed to pull it off and re-retired, against the odds, at a respectable 48.

The thing that gets me about the first photo is that he had no idea what was just around the corner. BAM - take that bastard. A costly reminder of LAFS - life ain't fair son. Perhaps I needed that how not to be a tard life lesson? Water under the proverbial bridge.

Diet

Can't believe those numbers. Thought I'd plateaued but the last month has seen staggering increases. And it's all since I started cooking a few months back. Who knew that fresh meat and veg could have such an impact? Not me, I never made the connection. Maybe I should watch some youtube gym-bros waffling on about steroids, protein and creatine wood preserver? Yeah, nah.