Chiang Mai Soapy Massages

Soapy Heaven

I've covered many aspects of life in Thailand on this blog. However, one area I've always shied away from is the litany of sexual services available to single men. One of the ultimate experiences is to spend a couple of hours in a bath with a beautiful young lady.

Chiang Mai has five soapies (in Thai: Ob Ab Nuat อบอาบนวด). On the map they are the black spots labelled 1-5. The following table shows their names and prices. N.B. These are the prices if you speak fluent Thai - it's not uncommon for foreigners to be overcharged. £1 = 50THB.

Name	Price (THB)
1. Ping Payom Hotel	1300, 1600, 2000
2. PhuCome Hotel	1000, 1400
3. Celeb CNX	1400, 1700
4. Sayuri	1000, 1300
5. Pandora	1500, 1800

What do you get?

When you walk in you'll see a large glass window with dozens of gorgeous women sitting behind - this is known as the fishbowl. Each lady has a number and you simply inform the manager of which one your loins desire. The prices vary according to attractiveness, however, there are many alluring ladies available.

Once you've chosen a stunner, she'll meet you with a courteous wai and escort you to a private room containing a bath and a bed. She'll fill the bath with warm water, get in naked and sensually wash you all over. Next, she'll guide you to the bed for the Full Monty (condom supplied). You have 90 minutes from choosing your bird to Elvis-ing the building. My 'friends' tell me it's a fantastic experience.

Gogo Bars

Chiang Mai is not Phuket, Pattaya or Bangkok. However, it still boasts a small eclectic mix of sleaze for those having withdrawal. The three blue dots (on the map) indicate CM's Farang-orientated gogo bars. 1. Spotlight. 2. StarSix. 3. Foxy Lady.

I prefer local bars (away from the city center - not on this map) because the beer's cheaper and the people are friendlier. This is a sign in one of my local bars (they have Coyote dancing on Thursday nights) and it translates as: "This is the place to vomit." Made me laugh as I was siphoning the python.

Work

A bit strange jumping from soapies to schools but I had to mark 400 tests last week. As you can see the kids were enthralled. I retired a year ago but enjoy teaching maths for a few hours a week. Embracing minimalism allows one to do this - I can't imagine busting-me-balls full time again!

Chiang Mai People

I know a few folk in CM these days after being here for 9 months. Pang is TaiYai. He can read/write/speak Thai, TaiYai and Burmese. The TaiYai people are from Shan State in Burma. They've been having issues with the Burmese Military Junta Government for decades, hence many of them living in Northern Thailand.

In Northern Thailand you'll often come across four written scripts: Regular Thai, Old Northern Thai, TaiYai and Burmese. Northern Thai is still used on temples and other traditional signs, however, only scholars can read it - I guess it's a bit like Latin in that sense?

I was eating at my regular haunt when this lad turned up after just completing the 600km Mae Hong Son loop on a scooter. He's from Toronto so I translated his order for him. It always strikes me as odd when I translate for a Western-born Asian person. I guess the inverse would be a Japanese bloke translating Norwegian for me in Oslo? I forgot his name as we started drinking immediately after this photo was taken. Canny lad. We talked at length about riding motorbikes around Asia over too many beers.

Bike Trips

Being single and semi-retired with scant responsibility leaves plenty of time to indulge in hobbies such as languages, writing, fitness and riding motorbikes. This kick-about occured in the wilds of Doi Saket.

Chiang Mai Lagoon is about 15km southwest of town. I'm guessing it's an old quarry. Unfortunately, when I was there a Japanese tourist drowned. They were still looking for him as dusk approached with a large crowd looking on. A piece of London in the wilds of Doi Saket???

MaeKuang Dam. The clouds rolling into MonJem's peak.

MonJem and the Samoeng viewpoint.

CMFC

I've become addicted to going to CMFC games. I even bought a replica kit (the first time I've ever bought a non-NUFC football item). Incredibly, they've won all six games I've been to see:

CMFC 4-2 Saraburi
CMFC 2-1 Phuket
CMFC 5-1 Pattaya
CMFC 1-0 Krabi
CMFC 2-0 Korat
CMFC 3-0 Phitsanulok

Saraburi and Korat were notable scalps given they were league leaders at the time. Unfortunately their away form is poor and I doubt they have enough strength-in-depth to secure promotion to the Thai Premier League. However, I could be wrong as someone, somewhere once said "It's a funny old game."



Submarines

I've no idea why I'm including these two photos other than flashbacks to a previous life. The grey thing on the right is a skimmer viewed through a periscope. The black thing on the left sinks them.






Fitness

Jogging around the idyllic scenery of SuanBuakHaad Park on the SW corner of CM's moat is a joy. I normally run 5.5km every other night. The manicured tropical gardens with the sun dipping over Doi Suthep Mountain in the background is delightful. Afterwards, it's nice to swim a few lengths in the pool below my balcony.

Living in Thailand is brilliant. I sometimes have to pinch myself to check I'm not dreaming.

Lingo

Ititaan = wish
Kanaen taorai? = what's the score?
Mot wela = full time
LamNaa = offside
Ying = shoot
Kao pratoo = score