Full Moon Party and a bamboo needle tattoo.

House

I'm still on Ko Pha Ngan. I did not intend to stay here this long but I've been trapped. Ten days ago I rented a Thai house for 3300bt/month (£50). I have a picture of the Thai King hanging in the bedroom. We also burn joss-sticks for Buddha. I'm looking (tentatively) into starting a small scale business here - perhaps a bar or guesthouse. This is all in the very early stages as I don't want to rush into anything. I remember the notion: 'Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance!'

Tattoo

My arm's still hurting from a tattoo I've just had done. It's in Thai script and says "Steve - World Person" (I hope - haha). My previous tattoos were done with automatic needles. However, this one was done using a bamboo needle. The guy jabbed it manually in and out of my arm for about 15mins. It hurt a little more!

Full moon party

I attended the infamous full moon beach party in Hat Rin two nights ago. It was like a scene from Apocalypse Now! Thousands of revellers daubed in illuminous paint drinking whiskey from buckets. Many people were high on drugs. I'm glad I've witnessed it but I don't think I'll be going again. I lost my flip-flops at this event which was a nightmare as I'd become sentimentally attached to them. I bought them in Mae Hong Son about 18 months ago and they held an emotional value far higher than any monetary value they may have had. I mitigated the loss by finding other discarded flip-flops later. There are millions of them left laying around by drunks. I found a blue right one first followed by a black left one which was only slightly smaller. I now have odd footwear but I don't give a shit.

My Thai is coming along slowly. I've met Westerners who've been here for years and can't say a word. I just couldn't do that. I actively read my book and test my abilities on unsuspecting locals. It makes a huge difference just being able to say basics.

Whores

I went to a girlie bar the other night. I sipped a bottle of water while a 22yo lass from Nong Khai in Isaan province tried to get me to go short time in a room behind the bar for 1300bt (£22). I declined her invitation but quizzed her about her life, dreams, reasons for doing this kind of work and hopes for marriage etc.

She appeared quite well educated despite displaying the other bar girl traits of laziness and greediness. I pointed out she could work in a shop or cook food at a night market but she countered that she would have to work a lot harder for a lot less money! Apparently, shagging falangs is pretty lucrative. She can make 1000bt in 30mins as opposed to 6000bt/month working in 7/11 all day. She also gets to party every night which I suppose is pretty good for any young lass.

She also hopes to snare a rich foreigner but you'd have to be pretty mad to fall in love with one of these girls since their main aim in life is to extort cash from you until it runs out and then move onto the next victim. Very callous I know but I've met many penniless casualties. Their primary concern is sending money back home so their lazy parents can drink cheap Wiskey off the back of their daughter's whoring income. It's all a bit f*cked up to be honest but I think I understand most of it now.

Anyone coming here as a sex tourist take note. These girls care about one thing and that is what's in your wallet - nothing else. They will never love you. They will sleep with anything or anybody provided they get paid - be warned. Beautiful but heartless. Gorgeous but deceitful.

Tragic

I've received some terrible news from home. My Mother is very sick in hospital. I'm waiting to hear more from my brother before deciding whether to postpone my business ideas and go home to see her. I've been very worried about this and thinking of little else. I've been drinking heavily for a week as a result. However, as we all know, you find little solace from the bottom of a beer glass.

Dodgy phone

My phone went totally kaput today and I've lost all my family's numbers as a result. This wouldn't normally bother me too much but as my Mother is seriously ill I'm temporarily out of touch since they don't do computers!

I'm hoping their numbers are stored on my SIM card and that someone else will let me use their phone later.

I checked my emails today and would like to thank Smudge, Dean, Armin and all the rest for support during these difficult times. I'm still very down - praying for the woman who gave me life.

Flights

Since I arrived in Asia by ships and trains I had no idea about flying between Europe and Asia. It's quite expensive. I checked out a BKK-London-BKK flight for later this week and it came out at 66000baht (£1150) with British Airways. I thought you could do that trip for about £500. Shows what I know. I'm asking around and looking for other options. This doesn't include getting from here to Bangkok and from London to Newcastle.

German Nick, my friend here who speaks perfect English, runs a bar close to my house. He's a really cool guy. Very switched on and understanding. He's a laugh and has helped me through some troubling times. His Father died last year while he was in Asia so he understands what I'm going though more than most.

I've been asking around about renting bars as I'm in need of employment/cash again. Nick has proved to be a fountain of knowledge regarding this. This endeavour, if I can get it up and running, will never make me rich but it might feed me. I'm going to look at another bar tonight and talk things through with Nick. It could prove to be an interesting experience.

Apart from praying for my Mam I've been practicing Thai. I can say things like I was drunk last night: Kern Tee Leao Pum Mao.

There's a Buddhist festival going on this week in Thong Sala. Last night I watched traditional Thai dancing and today they have Muay Thai boxing. These little wirey Thai boxers can sure take a hiding! I've never really been able to stomach boxing. I find no pleasure in watching two men knock each other senseless. A touch barbaric me thinks. Make love not war.

Women's mud wrestling on the other hand, now that's a different story!

Ratree Sawat - goodnight